Updated: Oct 6, 2020
Andrea`s bestseller story: The game.
Thanks for tuning in! 😊 I am Andrea, the founder of MBSFlow. Here you can figure out what is MBSFlow and understand our mission to help You.
I just want you to play.
Imagine, you are selecting the settings for your favourite video game. What skills, strength does your character have? What`s the mission? Beginner, advanced level? How long would you play an easy game, that has no challenge, nothing to learn, nothing to do, the character is just chillin`, no mission to be completed. Thrilling game, right?
Not really?! A bit boring? What do you want to do about it? What is your ideal game? A little challenge, couple of problems to solve, fun, excitement, at times perhaps boring as well and then you realise, the more complex it is, the more satisfaction you feel, the more you learn, the more you engage. Sometimes you engage so much you lose track of time, forget to eat, drink, it is just the game and you.
You are living your life!
Well, at least on the screen… but you see, we are designed to learn, solve problems, have fun, self-reflect, enjoy, stop, go, succeed, change strategies if needed, improve, get stuck, pause, recharge, move forward
. Live your life. When we have learnt everything about that game: mission complete. So, we will go for an other one, different character, different mission this time.
Forever rules: you have already decided your mission when you had the desire to expand, grow, be more, be different, discover. Your life is a colourful and everchanging journey. No one can teach you magic skills to get to the desired destination without taking any steps of the journey. We always take something with us from the previous journey: performance boosters, wellbeing optimisers, pain managers, f
ocus drills and so much more. Now, you have new set of skills and new set of challenges to overcome.
If you are ready to play, press start.
I introduce my story and approach as a PC game, the titles are probing questions, lessons, the missions I have completed and the skills I have gained to unlock level 2.
You can achieve anything you want! How could that little girl with scoliosis end up being a successful Wellbeing and Performance Coach? Or what could someone wh
o attempted to commit suicide tell you about Health and Wellbeing?
Trust me, I am human. Believe me, I know the ups and downs, I remember what it is like to struggle, feel alone, unsuccessful, anxious, body-conscious, shy, hopeless, an endless list of just “no good at all” or at least “really could be better”.
Was it ever good? Hey, what happened? When am I going to be satisfied finally? Not selling dreams. Do you remember the last time you felt invincible and easy? When you woke up pain- and worry free, feeling you will have a busy day full of fun, entertainment, achievement, learning, love and laughter? Then something has happened, and everything g
ot out of balance a bit. I guess, that’s why you are here, reading about my mission and trying to figure out whether if I can help you to create eternal satisfaction to sit back and watch, finally feeling: I made it.
No magic. Just live your life. Sense of purpose. As powerful forward pushing events of my life I will explain how I have gained everything I needed, everything I ever wanted right there, right then.
Sense of achievement – sense of enjoyment I was a “good girl” at school, shy, friendly, high achiever. I loved to thrive for the best results at subjects and not everybody liked that around me. I had no resilience against bully whatsoever. Therefore, I focused on achieving things and soon enough, I have learnt that children are mainly unkind and A* makes me happy.
Love of exercise I did not join PE at junior school as due to my scoliosis I was only referred to do corrective group exercises. Anxiously, I had to start PE at senior school and no wonder I did not have the same skills as others that have been doing everything for few years already. I hated ball games as I didn't have neither good enough hand- eye coordination or confidence, hated running as I have never done it before, and it was unbearably hard and boring. Sometimes, I choose not to attend the lesson, instead I sneaked out with my friends to IKEA to eat some hotdogs and ice cream. If I happened to join, I tried to come up with new excuses before each lesson to stay behind, apart from the ones we did strength or sand pit jumps. Since age 12, doing 20 push ups wasn't an issue for me and I was better than the boys at sand pit jumps. The school didn’t make steps to discover what am I good at, therefore I felt like a total failure on every PE lessons (if I had enough mojo to join in at all).
Thanks for being nasty After school, I was glad I didn't have PE anymore, such a relief!!!... until uni when I realized I needed to keep active somehow.
Well, my ex-boyfriend`s comment of having “no bumm, too skinny legs and a belly” kind of motivated me as an 18 years old woman to take steps and shape my body. If you feel that it was a harsh comment, read on to find out how a negative event can fast-track your path to success.
Like no one is watching I started to work out at home and I was pretty impressed with myself when I have finished an 8 mins TABATA workout. I did it all on my own! I didn’t fail, I got it, wow I have survived... once or twice a week then more often, then an other short workout, and on other, and heyy felt like a boss, like no one was watching, perhaps because no one was watching. So, what`s next?
Love at first sight. Just don’t put me on the treadmill. I got a cheap gym membership in a small gym where I have soon found out that first of all, there were barely any women 😱...and they had one treadmill that was always taken, meehh. So instead of running I got on that weird machine when you know, legs are going up and I was just hoping that the person I was secretly copying wasn’t using the machine on the other way round. The pain the next day was excruciating but I weirdly enjoyed and dragged myself in again, and again. I heard that apparently lifting weights won`t transform into Arnold, so eventually I started to pile up heavier plates and I have realised that there is a type of exercise that was actually designed for me. Something I wasn’t crap at! I fell in love with the leg press, dumbbells, smell of metal, pain in my bum, with the gym, with exercise, nutrition, with health and wellbeing.
Psychologists are the craziest I went to study Psychology as the human mind and behaviour always fascinated me, or perhaps as everybody else would say I wanted to become a Psychologist to treat myself. Either way, I have been looking for answers ever since. I got deep into discovering the power of mind at the university and when I went to the gym. I noticed not only how much my shape has changed but me as a person.
Open your eyes, open your mind After I got my precious first degree at Psychology, I have moved to England and I started to work as a support worker. I was working at different types of places such as nursing homes, hospitals, care homes, secure units, supporting a wide range of vulnerable people affected by mental health problems, learning disabilities, physical disabilities and life mostly. It was an eye opener experience that taught me so many skills such as empathic listening, creative problem solving, flexible thinking, responsibility.
Superwoman saved the whole universe, not. Meanwhile, I was dealing with a family member that was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. It was hard but I thought I can deal with everything on my own. I felt I had to help him. I have studied psychology, I knew the inside out. “If I don`t help, who would? He needs me”- I insisted. But I have crashed, I lost me, before I lost him… I started to suffer from depression and anxiety.
Fake it, until you make it I had cognitive behaviour therapy and I have learnt a lot about thinking errors and it helped me to take lots of pressure off me. I have learnt how to solve problems a little bit better. Things were only changing slightly but I have pushed through. I was suggested to meditate but you know, who has 10 minutes to “sit down, staring at a point and think nothing”. Cheers, I am OK. If not meditation (that I love today!), an other technique suited me: my psychologist taught me to “Fake it, until you make it”. Yeah right, put a smile on, push through. And it worked. Happily ever after. Or not. I thought all was good. I kept pushing and pushing at work, working 60 hours or more, no me time, no time for relaxing, go go, keep pushing. If I work hard enough, if I sacrifice enough, If I am good enough. If…
What a cheesy shit! One day I woke up at the A&E not even remembering the exact circumstances when I overmedicated myself to take my own life away. It was scary and it could have been the end of the story. Thanks so much, it wasn’t. Every single day I feel grateful for being here (apart from that very short episodes, when I am puzzled). That time I was offered to take part at CFT, compassion focused training. Self – compassion? And I was laughing, like why would feeling sorry for myself help? You mean…self-love? I do love myself! – I thought. Of course, I didn`t.
I thought putting myself at first was selfish, complimenting myself was ridiculous, saying no was a sin and sacrifice was the key to heaven. Related? Guess, what?!
I didn’t know that I am only responsible for my life and I need to practice self- care by being kind, accepting, understanding, loving toward myself so I can build resilience in life.
I have finally got the confidence to take steps towards my goal that I was thinking of for a long time.
Remember the little girl that was always sick before PE lessons? It was logical to attend a course and become a Personal trainer, also get a master’s degree at Sports Performance and a diploma at Sports Massage therapy. Since I step my foot in the gym first time ever, exercise become my medication. I lived by the book, counting every single grams of macros, training religiously. Go hard or go home, right? I was listening to Gym motivational speeches, saying you are dedicated if you wake up even if you don`t feel like it and you eat shit that you don`t want. Work hard, play hard. Sugar is sin, kale has super-power. Ya know, that’s the only way.
Only ever dedicated to positive thinking Sometimes I have asked, why am I doing that? My friends would have described me as someone knowledgeable, dedicated, machine, perfectionist, having strong willpower, beast, strict, super organised. Powerful words but which one do you think is identical to happy, content, fun? It wasn’t. Something just wasn’t` right. That constant anxious, unhappy mood.
Self -worth in stones and inches I was obsessed with the scale like I was measuring my self- worth in kg and inches.
I have tried so many different types of diet. I lied to myself, saying that I only did it because I was curious how my body feels. It was half- truth half lie. I enjoyed experiencing but I was obsessed to be size 8, 58 kg.
I would have turned down social events. I even let my boyfriend go because I felt I was too big and too toned next to him.
Since 18, that single comment from an ex…haunted me. Not good enough, got a belly, skinny legs… and if these words were not harsh enough, I added a bit more, not lean enough, no bum, you don’t even look like a pt, you are not knowledgeable, you can`t do that, you don`t have enough, you are worthless, look at her – so much better, you should do better. Come on, push through, improve, thrive, must be strong, clever, focused, if you only get 98%, you didn’t give anything. Counting protein, living by the book for weeks and then binging on cereal, chocolates. I could not eat less or train more. Tearful, unhappy, helpless. Can someone heeeeeelp?
Law of attraction Every morning I was looking at the mirror if my belly is flat or bloated. I suffered from mild to moderate acne. I felt embarrassed because I lacked will power. Defeated. I had a friend and colleague, age 50. I really looked up on her as she had the personality, the vibe, the look I was aiming for. `How can you do it? You must have so much self - control or perhaps don`t even like chocolate. ` - I asked her with all my admiration ` I don`t do self-control, I do self- focus. ` - she said. `What do you want Andrea? ` I said, I want to stop binging on chocolate, I don`t want to eat anymore chocolate. But I love it! `Shhh! What do you want? ` – she asked again. Gosh did she not hear me? I DO NOT WANT TO BE CHUBBY AND I DO NOT WANT CHOCOLATE, I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL ANXIOUS. I am powerless, unhappy, worthless, not a good personal trainer.
She asked me to watch the movie called “The secret”. I did and I thought it was a lot of bullshit. Apart from one thing I could hear than: you must focus on the thing you want.
I wanted positive vibes, happiness, calmness, success.
Positive affirmations Practise what you preach, they say, and I was so positive about what I was teaching is true for my clients. But the past held so many negativities and I never had the skill to let them go. Thoughts were coming back, I let them go, they came back, I let them go, they came back stronger. No win. I started to listen positive affirmations, every single morning and night and during shower, during housework, during my walk, I grabbed all the opportunity to feed myself with positive thought instead of “happy food”.
It worked, it worked, it was efficient, it helped, I understood, I listened, I experienced.
You are more than a body. Eventually, I have asked for help and I had an other course of CBT for dysmorphia and binge eating. I have learnt that everybody has a body and this physical structure doesn't just "look" a certain way but it does so much for us. That's why is so important to love and take care of it. Different perspective: Less pressure for more results. I don’t believe hard work and I will never want my clients to work hard. Are you still here? I am not being funny. Don`t work hard. Stop struggling. Life can be easy. Have fun. Have fun and I promise you will get more work done with more joy.
Pressure for me only exists during Sports massage (ouch, yepp, lovely technique, you will know about it) and the only resistance I accept is the heavy bar on my shoulders during squat.
I`ll show ya.
Same destination, more routes “This run is draaaaagging, boring, hate burpees, weird meditation technique, don`t want to do it. It is embarrassing. I don’t get it. It isn’t for me.” – sentences I never heard from my clients. I will never make you do things that you feel uncomfortable but I`ll always plan your plan according to your preferences to get the most result with the least pressure. The path of least resistance: choose your words wisely to optimize your mindset and achieve behaviour changes for the best outcome.
I can do it. I have enough. I am enough. I love it. I love me. I can do it. I have enough. I am enough. I love it. I love me. I can do it. I have enough. I am enough. I love it. I love me. I can do it. I have enough. I am enough. I love it. I love me. I can do it. I have enough. I am enough. I love it. I love me. I can do it. I have enough. I am enough. I love it. I love me. I can do it. I have enough. I am enough. I love it. I love me. I can do it. I have enough. I am enough. I love it. I love me. I can do it. I have enough. I am enough. I love it. I love me. I can do it. I have enough. I am enough. I love it. I love me.
Mission completed Thanks so much for reading my story. You have found the most experienced, knowledgeable coach, and human, ever. I have learnt it all. I just enjoy my life, all the time. All the time. No exception. Never have any problems. Kinda call it Superhuman state.
But then I realise that even Superheroes have challenges. They have even more. What do superheroes do when they have finished
their shift? They are looking for trouble, something to learn, something they can teach, something to give and something to take.
Thanks again for taking part in our little journey. Please, feel free to drop us a message if you have are about to start yo
ur mission and need couple of tricks to learn.